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Thinking Systems Blog

Expectations and Emotional Demands

April 16, 2023Define self

Emotional demands and expectations go together

For most organisms, including humans, the developmental trajectory involves an individual becoming more and more capable and responsible for taking care of their own needs. Maturation is associated with the ability to function independently. As a social species, humans needed to find a partner and have children in order to survive as an extended family unit. Single families would have had a very hard time surviving on their own. This creates the need and expectation that members of the group would care for each other. A mature understanding of this recognizes the benefits and costs of interdependence so the group can survive. An immature understanding of this has unrealistic expectations of others and makes demands of others. This is pretty clear when one is talking about physical needs like food, shelter and protection that protect our physical self.

Humans Dogs and Emotional Systems

March 30, 2023emotional system

What can Parents Learn from Obedience Training?

Humans domesticated dogs around 15,000 years ago. More recently, we have trained dogs to recognize the emotional state of individuals with PTSD in order to help those individuals cope with aspects of PTSD. Researchers have also shown dogs to recognize human facial expressions, especially those involving the area around the eyes. Dogs also show signs of grieving because of the loss of their owner. They have been known to lose their appetite, get lethargic, or become more "clingy" by seeking more attention. It seems clear to me that an emotional level connection can exist between humans and dogs. Like other humans, they provide attention and acceptance, and they have a calming influence.

Wise Selfishness: a Systems Perspective

March 26, 2023Define self

Can one be selfishly wise?

Dr. Kerr has a phrase that is familiar to those in the Bowen community: "How does one be for self without being selfish and be for others without being selfless? "

Hope for Parents

March 12, 2023Uncategorized

A Manualized Process to Give Parents Hope

(This post provides some background for the April 17th conference on the Parent Hope Project).

Using Triangles

February 26, 2023From the Archives, triangles

Triangles are mechanisms to deal with the tension or discomfort that will inevitably arise in a two-person relationship. This is because the majority of individuals are not highly differentiated. We have a level of immaturity that leads to tension in our relationships. This often shows up as the tension and discomfort that arises when people disagree. We perceive the disagreement as a threat to ourselves and or the relationship (which is also a threat to ourselves).

How emotionally mature are you?

February 14, 2023emotional system

Emotional Maturity - What is it?

A challenge with discussing Bowen Theory is that the terms emotion and emotional system mean something different from the usual understanding that equates them to feelings. Dr. Bowen believed emotions to be more like instinctive biological processes. Food digestion is an instinctive process. Our body's circadian system is instinctual because it develops automatically and operates outside our awareness. Our reactivity to others is instinctual - it is a natural process of our development, and it operates automatically. My reactions to differences in my family members' facial expressions, word choice, tone and volume of voice, and body language are automatic. And their reaction to my reaction is automatic. This automatic reaction and reaction to reaction makes this a "system."

Chronic Anxiety in Physical Illness

January 22, 2023From the Archives
Chronic Anxiety and balancing self in relationships

From the Archives - Chronic Anxiety in Physical Illness

Dr. Bowen spoke at a conference on cancer in 1978 about his thinking of how a disease like cancer could develop. It was quite different thinking at the time. He started by making the point that most psychiatrists (which he was) talked about families as systems or the family as a unit, but didn't really operate from a systems perspective. "I seriously doubt if even the most experienced family researcher, therapist, can think and act systems more than a fraction of the time."

Function UP in 2023

January 14, 2023Define self
Define your self directed goals

Function UP in 2023

It's that time of year when I think about my intentions for functioning up in the coming year. A systems perspective has me thinking about how I'm functioning in my family and workplace systems. The concept of functioning is an important one in Bowen family systems theory. It came from Dr. Bowen's goal to understand human behaviour by recording what he called functional facts. Function facts are what independent observers might record about an interaction between two or more people. For example, a parent, after having an argument with a child, then complaining to their partner is a function fact regarding triangles. The content of what they said might be a fact, but we can observe their behaviour of talking to a third person objectively. Dr. Bowen and his team did this over a period of five years during his NIMH research project with families.

Family Projection Process – From the Archive

December 22, 2022family projection, From the Archives

Family Projection Process

The family projection process is one of eight concepts that make up Bowen theory. Dr. Bowen believed that there were enough observations from his research and clinical work that it warranted being a separate concept. It is important to remember that this is just one of eight concepts and other ideas that make up a system's way of thinking about human behaviour. Dr. Bowen wondered how levels of differentiation get transmitted from one generation to the next. While he didn't like the term projection, he couldn't come up with a better one.

Defining Self – Always do this

December 16, 2022Define self

Defining a self - always do this.

Defining one's self is a lot of work and a lifelong process. However, one can improve their functioning at any time. Here are some ideas, from a system's perspective, that can increase one's level of differentiation, albeit over time.

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