There are multiple reasons for the value of understanding the facts of one's family history. It supports one's development of more objective thinking on family matters. The process of gathering family history facts expands one's contact with extended family. It helps one understand the role they play in their family.
Our desire to be calm drives more behaviour than we realize. This is a significant factor in families acting as systems.
Emotional contagion is a field of study that validates much of what Dr. Bowen conceptualized in the 1960s. Dr. Bowen, who read widely across scientific disciplines, believed that we inherited the basis for the human emotional system from other species. It involves all the automatic physiological responses to external and internal stimuli. For example, you don’t have to “think” about backing away from a cliff. Or being attracted to another person. Or shivering if you get cold enough. I’ll use the word emotion to mean a non-conscious, physiological response to stimuli.
Nature has a way of defining the physical self for all organisms via the immune system. Evolution built our immune system to recognize non-self from self. Accordingly, mechanisms like the immune system are the root of the physical self defining itself to other organisms. What can we learn about defining self from our immune system?
Does an individual's anxiety level vary when embarking on a journey of personal and spiritual growth? How would the existing social system react to the change? Would the level of anxiety vary over a long period? What sustains the individual on their journey? With these questions, I did a research project including in-depth interviews of ten family systems from different cultural backgrounds and localities. Here are some key lessons.
A system view of a problem differs from how most people think of a problem. The common way of thinking stems from an individualistic cause-and-effect model. In our current culture, there is a quick-fix desire as well. Thus, the result of the cause and effect, quick fix approach is that the fix can be worse than the problem.
To understand human nature, it's useful to think in terms of evolution. Why would a species need elders or have an interdependency with them? For example, what is the benefit to a species of having the females live a long time after being able to have children? Or for males to live a long time after their peak fitness levels? Fitness in nature is a tradeoff between costs and benefits. Maybe fitness isn’t just about physical fitness, but also about non-physical fitness.
Great decision-making always involves emotional processes and some level of value judgement.
Regret, like other emotions, can be a useful source of information to help one grow. It is defined as a feeling of sadness or disappointment over some past event. We can use regrets to grow because it can foster reflection on what not to do again and what one could do in the future.
Why would anyone like me more if they think I’m stressed? I certainly don’t have big puppy dog eyes. Recent research suggests that evolutionarily, signalling distress to others would be an adaptive trait. But before we look at that, let’s understand a few aspects of human behaviour and stress. Humans and other species, when stressed, show typical behaviours. Scratching, for example (aka self-grooming). It’s referred to as displacement behaviour because of the energy it is displacing. Rats have regular stress behaviours which allow us to learn about stress and behaviour. Wringing one’s hands is another example. The sources of this “displacement” behaviour are also interesting.
901 3rd Street West, North Vancouver
(at Hanes and 3rd St W, behind Capilano Mall)
Telephone: 604.926.5496
info@livingsystems.ca
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Living Systems Counselling and Training is a registered society since 1974, charity# 107784308RR001. We offer affordable counselling for individuals, couples, and families with a wide range of relationship and mental health issues in various locations in the Lower Mainland.
We thank the BC Gaming Commission, District of North Vancouver, City of North Vancouver, individual donors, and our members for their support.
Living Systems gratefully acknowledges that our organization operates on the unceded and traditional territories of the Coast Salish people. This acknowledgment is a small part of the ongoing work to foster reconciliation.
