Thinking Systems Blog

What it means to be helpful

October 25, 2025Uncategorized

Theory Thoughts: Is Pain Good or Bad? A systemic exploration of neutrality and what it means to ‘help’ “When they’re in enough pain, they’ll do something about it” A psychiatrist said that to me once, and it really got me thinking. Years

Conference on Aging – Key Takeaways

October 24, 2025Uncategorized

The Problem of the Elderly and Aging Families

Aging: Individual Challenge or Family Opportunity Our recent conference on aging and families from a systems perspective provide some useful insights. We all are (hopefully) involved with aging because we live long enough! Of course, aging impacts th

Responsibility or Blame – a Systems Perspective

September 29, 2025Uncategorized

Theory Thoughts: What’s the difference between responsibility and blame? And what can we take from Bowen Theory to addresses this? “You have inherited a lifetime of tribulation. Everybody has inherited it. Take it over, make the most of it and wh

Aging and Families

September 19, 2025Uncategorized

(Be sure to check out our upcoming conference on aging and the family here.) Canada is amid a profound demographic shift. Our population is aging at an unprecedented rate, and this trend will only speed up over the next three decades. This is

Understanding Forgiveness Within Bowen Theory

August 27, 2025Uncategorized

“When I forgive you, You will no longer define me. " Two very poignant lines from a poem in The Book of Forgiving, by Desmond Tutu and his daughter, Mpho Tutu. In reading these two lines, it’s not difficult to see how I connected the concept of f

Dr Bowen on Aging – Problems of the Aged

August 16, 2025Uncategorized

Problems of the Aged - Lecture by Dr. Bowen This talk, from April 1980 by Dr. Murray Bowen, challenges compartmentalized thinking and argues for enlarging systems theory so that human emotional, physiological, genetic, and psychological functioning a

What kind of help is helpful?

July 17, 2025differentiation

When is help helpful? We come to helping others naturally. Because of evolution, we are very good at picking up distress in others. For our ancestors, one group member’s distress could affect another, so helping each other increased the group's sur

ADHD and Differentiation of Self

June 19, 2025Uncategorized

ADHD and Differentiation of Self ADHD as we know it today was not recognized during the early 1960s when Dr. Bowen was finalizing Bowen Family Systems Theory. Does Bowen Theory have anything to offer for our understanding of ADHD? To start, let's do

Gentle Parenting and Bowen Theory

June 7, 2025differentiation

Gentle Parenting and Bowen Theory: How Differentiation Can Make a Difference What Is Gentle Parenting? Gentle parenting is an approach that emphasizes empathy, respect, emotional attunement, and consistent communication. Rather than punishments o

How to Vent Responsibly

May 18, 2025Define self, emotional contact, fusion

Vent responsiblity with the Differentiation Diamond

Vent Responsibly: Transforming Emotional Venting When someone says "I need to vent," what's actually happening? This common phrase signals something deeper than a simple conversation. Let's explore how one can transform venting into something product