Special Episode: What is a Relationship System? with Lois Walker and Ron Richardson

This special podcast episode was recorded live at the Living Systems Annual General Meeting in Vancouver, British Columbia, in May 2025. It addresses the question of what is a relationship system. Ther is a focus on what Bowen family systems theory describes as an “emotional system”. Each guest will give a brief elevator pitch of a relationship system, with examples, how it is useful to Bowen theory. There are also takeaway ideas, questions, and resources for further thinking.

Lois Walker started observing diversity among families as a young graduate nurse. She became interested in the spiritual needs of individuals and families in cancer care and palliative care. Lois later completed a Masters of Divinity and entered the training program in Bowen theory at North Shore Counselling Centre (now Living Systems) in 1990. Following that she completed three years of the post-graduate program at the Georgetown Family Center (now the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family). For 35 years, Lois has continued to study Bowen theory as well as teach and provide clinical supervision in the training program at Living Systems.

Dr. Ronald Richardson graduated from UCLA, Princeton Seminary, and the Rochester/Colgate Divinity School. He worked as a pastor before becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist and Pastoral Counsellor. He was the former Executive Director of Living Systems and retired in 1995. In addition, he was an American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) Supervisor and a Diplomate for the American Association of Pastoral Counselors (AAPC). Ron is the author of many books on the application of Bowen family systems theory to organizations and relationships. Ron is now 85 and has been married to Lois Richardson for 58 years. Find Ron’s books by searching “Ronald W. Richardson” on Amazon.

Parents
with Kathleen Smith

Season 3: Episode 1

Welcome to Season 3 of Elevator Systems!

In our first episode of the season, we’re diving into our earliest relationship with parents/ caregivers — a formative relationship that shapes us across the lifespan.

Joining hosts Dixie Vandersluys & Katie White is licensed therapist and author Dr. Kathleen Smith. Kathleen’s books include Everything Isn’t Terrible and True to You: A Therapist’s Guide to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Being Yourself. Living in Washington, DC, Kathleen is a faculty member at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family and author of the popular newsletter, The Anxious Overachiever.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• How our relationship with parents is “Olympic training for objectivity”
• How Bowen family systems theory broadens perspective to multigenerational patterns
• What happens when we see our parents as humans, not heroes or villains
• The role of blame, anxiety, and differentiation in adult relationships
• Why cut-off isn’t always the end and the usefulness of curiosity
• Real-world examples: parenting, loss, tooth hygiene, and “Sweet Caroline”

Whether you’re navigating family dynamics, interested in personal growth, or work in mental health, this episode has insights, humour, and practical tools to think differently about you and your family story.

Friendship
with Dr. Guillermo Cancio-Bello

Season 3: Episode 2 – COMING JULY 15.

Welcome to Elevator Systems! In Season 3 Episode 2 hosts Dixie Vandersluys and Katie White are joined by special guest Dr. Guillermo Cancio-Bello to talk about the many aspects and facets of friendship from a Bowen family systems perspective.

Dr. Guillermo Cancio-Bello is an Assistant Professor of Counselling at Barry University and integrates Bowen theory into his clinical, academic, research, and organizational work. His teaching and scholarship focus on systems thinking, leadership development, and the personal and professional growth of counsellors-in-training. Guillermo currently serves as President of the Florida Association of Marriage and Family Counselling (FAMFC) and is also a board member of the Florida Family Research Network, which works to advance the science of human behaviour based on the natural systems theory of the family developed by Murray Bowen.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Differentiation (staying connected and separate) in friendship
• The role of sibling position in friend selection
• Fusion, triangles, and anxiety
• How family of origin impacts adult relationships
• Bowen theory insights on digital vs. in-person connections
• Examples from the biblical friendship of David & Jonathan to sending memes!

For counsellors or anyone interested in understanding relationships better, this discussion will get you curious about how you show up in your friendships.

Pets!
with Kathleen Cotter Cauley

Season 3: Episode 3

Welcome to Elevator Systems! In Season 3 Episode 3 Kathleen Cotter Cauley joins Dixie
Vandersluys and Katie White on the elevator to look at the role of pets in relationships — from cats and dogs to triangles and anxiety!

Kathleen Cotter Cauley is a licensed marriage and family therapist and has a private practice
in both Virginia and Florida. She’s a faculty member of the Bowen Center and was involved in founding the Florida Family Research Network. She has worked with guide dogs for over 30 years.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Viewing pets as active participants in the emotional field
• How animals reflect family anxiety and calm
• The concept of reciprocity in human-animal relationships
• The four patterns of reactivity (conflict, distance, projection, triangles) observed in pets
• How pet entries and exits impact family dynamics
• Examples from guide dogs, breeders, and meet our own pets!

Whether you’re new to Bowen Theory or a long-time learner, this episode offers surprising, insightful ways to observe functioning through your pets, watch anxiety move, and deepen your understanding of family systems.

Coming July 29, 2025

Adolescence
with Avrum Nadigel

Season 3: Episode 4

Welcome to Elevator Systems! In this episode, we delve into the complexities of adolescence through the lens of Bowen family systems theory. Join hosts Dixie Vandersluys and Katie White with guest Avrum Nadigel as they explore how understanding family dynamics can illuminate the challenges and opportunities of the teenage years.

Avrum Nadigel has been a marriage and family therapist for 25 years and has completed postgraduate training in Bowen family systems theory. He is the author of three books: “Learning to Commit”, “It Takes More than Love” and “Where Would you Like to Start: A Master Therapist on Beginning Psychotherapy with Families”. Avrum has co-produced two podcasts: “Pop Parenting” and “The Love Examined Playlist”.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Bowen family systems theory’s unique perspective on adolescence: thinking about a teenager within the broader context of the family
• How multigenerational processes and family history impact adolescent behaviour and development
• The concept of differentiation and how teens strive to form their own identities while balancing family expectations and outside influence
• The significant role parents play in their adolescent’s development
• Practical advice for supporting growth, individuality and connection for the family
• Examples include: every John Hughes movie, music, sports, peer pressure, and summer camp

This episode is for professionals, parents, teens and anyone navigating this pivotal stage of life. Tune in to discover how systems thinking is useful in adolescence.

Coming August 5, 2025

Dating
with Joe Berger

Season 2: Episode 5

Welcome to Elevator Systems! Therapist Joe Berger joins Dixie Vandersluys and Katie White to think about how Bowen family systems theory is useful in the dating world.

Joe Berger is a therapist who works with individuals, couples, and families and previously worked for several years in community mental health. He received a Masters in Social Work from the University of Vermont in 2012, and has completed two years of postgraduate training at the Bowen Center in Washington. He is currently a faculty member at the Vermont Center for Family Studies.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• A Bowen theory approach to dating emphasizes focusing on oneself rather than the other person
• Being clear about one’s goals and guidelines in dating helps maintain authenticity and self-awareness
• The influence of societal and familial expectations on dating behaviour and relationship choices
• Keeping a sense of fun and curiosity is important in the dating process, alongside serious considerations
• Examples shared from personal experience, clinical cases, and the entertainment world

Counsellors, parents, and anyone navigating the dating world will find useful ideas for further thinking in this episode.

Coming August 12, 2025

Co-Workers
with Jake Morrill

Season 2: Episode 6