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The importance of broadening the lens to the entire family emotional system rather than the person is the focus of BFST coaching with couples and families. Seeing the nuclear family mechanisms coupled with the triangles at play in the family leads to a clearer understanding of what the family must do to survive. Focus on symptoms and offspring, tension and disagreements in couples, blaming the other and not blaming self are just a few of the many manoeuvres’ families use to manage anxiety. This management keeps the family stuck in an intense emotional cycle.
Revealing the patterns from the past, particularly the stuck ones free up the family to seenew moves and possible changes. Focusing on change, process, and goal definition come to the fore of this work. All of this cannot take place without the individual taking responsibility for his/herself in the family system.
Carrie Collier, PhD, has practiced as a licensed professional counsellor since 2000 and currently maintains a small private family coaching practice. She is busy these days with her research coding Bowen’s archival letters and tapes. She has developed, tested and published a Family Unit Functioning Questionnaire (2022) and has conducted research on the relations between wisdom and ethics of care in late life. She continues to be faculty at The Bowen Center and is the President of The Bowen Center board. Carrie resides in Northern Virginia with her husband, son, and three dogs. She loves walking, gardening, reading, hanging with friends and family, cuddling her pups, and nature in her spare time.